I think...

That a year from now I'd like to look back at how my blogging has improved. And laugh.

Also, that my brother's blog has a better title. And is just better.

Also, that Gary Sinise is sexy.

Okay

So, that last blog was going to begin with my pitiful perils of dating and transform into the most poignant lesson on courtship for our generation. (Trust me, it was going to be good.)  Then, I got distracted by Cheesey.  Oh, Cheesey, I miss you.

I'm Old Fashioned

I listen to Frank Sinatra and Billie Holiday and Mel Torme with the Mel-Tones (which, by the way, comes in handy when you're playing Wii trivia with a group full of 20-something New Yorkers), and I hate asking guys out.  I hate asking guys out so much that I bolded "hate."  Now that's animosity.

Very recently I asked a guy from church out on a date.  He accepted and we had, I think, a good time.  Except that I'm awkward and don't like dating.  And, that as soon as I got back to Washington my family started in with the talking.  I almost forgot that I was the youngest in a very nosey family.  I love them, but they make me hate dating even more.

I'm almost 20 — okay, not almost, my birthday is in October — and I've only been on a handful of dates.  Literally.  Six.  Six real dates.  And half of those were in high school.  After each one I got advice from about 20 different people, each with their own set of dating standards.  Let me tell you, after 20 people give you advice, you don't know what to do.  Maybe three people can leave you with some idea, but 20!  Don't even bother.  The 20 people that give me dating tips, however, are unsolicited.  I can't escape their judgment.

I like cheese. It's good to me.  Sometimes, when I'm lonely and alone, I take out a block of cheese and I cuddle with it.  Sometimes, the cheese talks to me. Like today, it told me I was very pretty.  I don't know if you've ever experienced it, but it's an odd feeling when a block of cheese makes you blush.

Sometimes, Cheesey (that's his name) and I go for motorcycle rides.  Cheesey is "Number 2" in the Kraft-Tillamook biker gang.  No one messes with my cheese.

Tonight, Cheesey got mad at me because I got hungry and took a big bite out of Cheesey.  Then, I got even hungrier.  And I, amidst his terrifying but quaint pleas for mercy, slowly melted him down for my nachos.  Best dang nachos ever!  I wonder if Cheesey still thinks I'm pretty.

I'm not quite Fibonacci...

But I am noticing a pattern. It seems I only post blogs at obnoxious hours of the morning when I am staring down the barrel of an all-nighter. I'm going to say that's okay, though, as I am sure all the best episodes of The Simpsons were created at obscene hours of the night. Maybe I should find some pot, you know those Evergreeners (sorry, Matt Groening, but I had to). Anyway, it seems the only appropriate course of action for this blog right now is to produce a Top Ten list.

First, let me announce a major decision I have recently made in my life: After debating with myself over the content of this newly formed blog, I finally chose to rule nothing out and write about whatever I feel like at the time. I apologize if this means my blog is boring from time to time (like right now). Now, onward to my Top Ten list!

Tonight's topic: Words. These are the top ten words that I find fun to say...

10. Halal

9. Ambience

8. Platypus (Thanks to Wendy for reminding me of how much fun I have saying this one!)

7. Whore

6. Transcendental

5. Olfactory

4. Ubiquitous

3. Gubernatorial

2. Oi

and

1. Porcupine and orangutang.

Yeah, I know I cheated, but it's my blog so deal with it.

Thank you and goodnight!

One taxi and a loud van.

It's five o'clock in the morning and I have chosen this precise moment to begin my blog.  All is silent on the streets of New York — well, at least on the corner of Fifth Ave. and Tenth — and I am still awake, again.  Right now is the perfect time to get caught up with my homework.  Oh well, such are the hazards of living in the age of technology.  It's a wonder anybody ever gets anything done.

The reasons I started this blog are

1. John said I should.

and

2. Everyone else is doing it.

Those, my friend, are pretty bad reasons ... But they're my pretty bad reasons.  So, enjoy the blog!  Hopefully it will include fun, sometimes informative, often witty, and charmingly humorous posts soon ... If not, I'm sorry.